Tuesday 10 March 2015

In sickness and in health?

Research recently published in the Journal of Health and Social Behaviour seems to indicate that husbands are more likely than wives to seek divorce if their partner falls sick.

Although most marriage vows promise to love ‘in sickness and in health’ it seems that this isn’t always the case.

Promising at the altar to have and to hold your loved one, in sickness and in health, may seem like a straightforward pledge.

After tracking 2,700 couples in the US from 1992 to 2010, the American team who completed the study found that divorce levels were roughly the same between healthy couples and those in which the husband suffered sickness.

But when it was the wife who became ill, the likelihood of divorce rose.

There may be various reasons for this:-

  • Financial - if the wife was also earning, suddenly there is a strain on finances so the split then becomes about money, not sickness.
  • Men maybe aren’t so good at being the carer - and maybe the wife realises that she can’t rely on her spouse like she thought she could.
  • Some men simply can’t cope when their wife gets very seriously ill - they may stop working and earning and this will change the relationship.  
  • If the wife has been ill and recovers, the dynamic in the marriage has changed.  I know of one colleague who was very unwell and her husband liked being the breadwinner, the sole provider, and having a quiet compliant wife.  When she got better and found her voice again, he didn’t much like the ‘new improved version with opinions’ and the marriage fell apart.

One party being ill isn’t grounds for divorce, but the changes in behaviour that arise during or after illness may well mean that the marriage is never the same again.

A good reason to keep healthy, methinks!

Monday 2 March 2015

Get a job!

A landmark ruling last week has perhaps ended the expectation that women can stay home indefinitely and be supported by former husbands.

The case, heard in the Court of Appeal, was between Tracey Wright, a 51 year old mother of two and her former husband, millionaire horse vet Malcolm Wright, now 59.  Last year in the divorce settlement Tracey Wright was awarded a £450,000 mortgage-free house and £75,000 a year to cover maintenance and private school fees.

However, Mr Wright took the settlement to appeal, worried that he might not be able to continue to fund this lifestyle once he retires, whilst she made 'no effort whatsoever to seek work'.

Lord Justice Pitchford, sitting at the Court of Appeal, told Mrs Wright to 'just get on with it' and get a job, like 'vast numbers of other women with children'.  He also made it clear that women with 'children over the age of 7' should all make the effort to work.

This ruling will undoubtedly be replicated in courts across the country, and it is expected that a number of ex-husbands will return to court to reduce or cancel their existing maintenance orders.  It is of no matter that the parties in this case were millionaires - the ruling will filter down to you and I too.

If you are currently supported by an ex-partner and feel you may be affected by this, do get in touch.  Remember we have a FREE weekly clinic now so that you can come and find the advice you need without having to part with a penny.  Call 029 2039 5888 for more details.